Adventures at the Indy Gun and Knife Show

A few weeks ago I found myself standing in line outside in the freezing cold in disbelief. First that I was even in a line to get into a gun show but second that all those other people were too. There was literally a line of people a half mile long to get in. Jim and I were both astonished. I had heard some talk on the news about gun advocates getting nervous about the new Obama administration but I had no idea it was this bad. While some in line around us discussed what might happen with the new Democratic Legislative and Executive Jim and I smiled and nodded... neither of us admitting why we were really there. No, it was not the fear of our 2nd amendment being infringed on. It was..are you ready for it? a possum. Well, that and a recent theft on the farm.
Recently Jim crossed pathes with a possum on the east side of our house. We have hens who are just lovely and we had lost a couple of them in recent weeks. As this possum was fat and sassy he could very well have been the culprit. Jim came in and got his .22 out of the gunsafe and went out to take care of the suspected marsupial. In the meantime I had no idea what was going on and was brushing my teeth in the bathroom which is also on the east side of the house. Brushing away I hear the following exchange...
Bam
Bam..."What the..."
Bam, Bam, Bam "Die already you piece of..."
For those of you who don't know Jim... he is a very mild mannered and easy going person so this outburst was unexpected. He came storming in the house and made the following statement "I am going to go somewhere to buy a very large gun. One that will kill a possum in one shot."
That night someone broke into one of our barns directly across from our house. The following morning when Jim went out to dispose of the possum, it was gone. Of course Jim thinks that possom is still out there alive somewhere. His Moby Dick, if you will. I decided a decent handgun wouldn't be a bad thing due to a rash of crime nearby. Bad guys or possums..whatever the reason..we were at the gun show. Here is some of what I learned...


1. Single ladies... run, don't walk, to the nearest gun show. With a 30 to 1 ratio going on you can't lose. I am no beauty and still garnered a great deal of interest from men of all types while sitting on an empty ammo box waiting for my husband to finalize his purchase. Old ones with no teeth, a guy in an Armani suit, and a way hot group of college guys offered to hang out with me. Another guy with countless piercings and a scary looking semi-automatic slung over his shoulder actually bought me a Coke just "cause I looked thirsty." It was sweet in a weird way. Plus quite a few of these guys could build you a serviceable shelter and hunt down and prepare a dinner in under and hour.

2. Do not generalize about gun owners or their political associations. I spoke to several people who voted for Obama but were concerned about any kind of new laws that may be passed. Whatever your beliefs... about guns or religion or politics... we should all be thankful for these heavily armed Midwesterners. Even if you believe all guns should be banned, that Jesus was just some guy, and the United States is an embarassment there will be a well armed flag waving Jesus freak right there willing to die so that you can both exist in one place with opposing views. It made me have a kind of cozy safe feeling that these people are armed to the gills. If Red Dawn ever came true this is where I would want to be.

3. Purdue emblazened on various clothing items.... 40+ Indiana University...ummm..zero.

4. Women too can love guns. When chatting up a nice older lady she started to give me some tips on what kind of gun I would be comfortable with. I listened in shock as she leaned in and told me that she was sexually assaulted in the 80's and would never leave the house without her gun. She opened the vest she was wearing with a smile to reveal a Glock. It was pink. Throughout the building I saw a variety of pink guns which were disturbing yet alluring.

5. You can buy a bootlegged copy of Disney's Song of the South there for $20. Who knew?

6. The smell of those cinnamon sugar roasted German almonds make even a gun show smell festive.

7. Farmers must be secretly arming themselves for a second Shay's Rebellion. I think my husband is in on it. From the many many John Deere, Case, Monsanto, Pioneer, and Dekalb labels I saw on hats, shirts, and coats I know these were farmers. For those of you not familiar with the practice for every $100,00.00 you spend as a farmer you get a freebie hat or coat emblazoned with the name of the company who just robbed you. Nice huh?

8. Favorite things overheard at the show...
"For something to die, man, you got to take the time to shoot it."

"Glad that went through okay..." from a uniformed Marion County Constable on getting his background check approved for a personal firearm purchase of an AK-47.

" I love it, honey." From a girl whose boyfriend was in the process of buying her a pink shotgun.

"This is not the place to cut in line, Matt. These people have guns."

"Do you want to touch it, little lady? I know you'd like to touch it." Said to me while I was looking at a display case of WWI firearms. And frankly I did want to touch it and told him so.

"You wanna go out and count the cars with Obama stickers on them?" asked by one IMPD officer to another.